Exercising Judgement

I’m looking back. I’m examining my history. Don’t we all  do that? I think we all do that from time to time, don’t we? Maybe, us older folk do that a bit more because we see so much more behind us than we can see ahead of us. Maybe younger folk spend a lot more time looking ahead because they feel they have so much before them left to do. I think it is probably a good idea for each of us to look back because it may give us better ideas about what those future actions ought to be. It‘s all about exercising judgement.

Speaking about judgement, I do think a lot about my past judgements. I think about how my judgements turned out. Like you, I made judgements, judgements about my own actions, and judgements about the actions of others. Now we’re touching on a sore point!

We’ve all heard the mantra.

“How dare you judge me? How can you judge me if you haven’t walked a mile in my shoes?”

 Well, some of us, some of us older folk, may be walking with a different shoe size, but we have walked similar paths. So, I have to admit to exercising judgement on the actions of others. And some of those judgements arose from all that looking back.

It’s true that the world has changed enormously from the way things were when we older folk were facing similar situations. What hasn’t changed very much is the uncommon similarity in the way people behave when they face circumstance very similar to the ones we faced when we passed that way. It may be aggravating to admit that, but that is just too true.

Having said all that, I am not advocating that we share our wisdom in places where we are not asked for our opinion. That is obviously not the best approach in many of the situations we may encounter. It’s pretty dangerous ground to enter even when one is asked to express an opinion. Usually such a request is designed primarily to elicit a response which will confirm the judgement that the petitioner has already made.

I confess that I am the kind of busybody who has, often, already made his own judgement, if I am close enough to the situation to even be approached for a request for my opinion, I take refuge in asking for questions of clarification. Indeed, there may be details about the circumstances that are unknown and have relevance. The object of the exercise is to get the petitioner to examine the situation with fresh eyes. This may even offer original approaches to a current impasse. And might even bring him/her to a conclusion that might be similar to the judgement I myself have already made. Naturally!

Aren’t I an egomaniac? Aren’t we all?

Let’s face it! Managing our lives is often not a piece of cake. On sober second thought, there are any number of instances in my own past that I rued the positions I ultimately chose. And I certainly didn't consult anybody, or approach someone else about my private events, someone who might second-guess my opinions.

One can only judge how effective one has been in conducting one’s life if one has emerged from the experience still rational and with a working body apparatus. And perhaps, not totally alone. That doesn’t prevent us from working up the arrogance to make judgements about how other people should have organized their lives. And appreciating how much damage may  have been inflicted on the lives of others by careless behavior during our passage. Ouch!

One can work on that while still alive by exercising that judgement, if we can just muster up the courage and the perspective.

All this is ground which is fraught with the danger of alienating someone whose future you really care about. Not for the faint of heart! My errors have been more in the area of holding back and letting the chips fall where they may. Who can predict where the damage, or the blessings, will come to rest when all is said and done? At least be sure that your counsel has been truly sought and you are not being approached to confirm a judgement that has already been made.

All this may sound like a lot of wishful thinking. We all know that our world society has been facing such rapid change that details about these matters under judgement may lie far outside our ability as older people to render relevant insights. Stick to the principles that govern the unchanging nature of human behavior. That may be an area where our human experience may be relevant.

Meanwhile I am concentrating on appearing wise by ensuring I stay silent. (If only I could always obey that rule!)  A benevolent smile for all goes with that pose. We can’t make many mistakes in judgement if we stay silent. Or can we?