Making Investments, Collecting Dividends

Just rolling into 2022, long, long after beginning to record and tell the stories I have been telling. A good number of the companions with whom I began this trail have passed on to greener pastures. Those remaining are all the more precious.

I can celebrate the achievements of my offspring, my near and dear, having been around to witness the cavalcade firsthand, all flags flying. A longtime investor, I am able to see where investments I made have paid off with dividends, and where I missed the boat and have little to take any credit for. As for all of us, these are the stories of a life lived. Some of the details will have been exposed, much will remain for speculation.

We began this trail along with our fellow travelers, innocents abroad, with no conception of where we came from, and why, and no inkling of where we were going. All of us came aboard the bus of life with empty pockets and no idea that our job, in the end, would be to fill those pockets with the things we regarded as most precious.

It is only as we are nearing the end of our journey that we may begin to fully appreciate the import of the decisions we have made, the fate our destinies have delivered, and what we have produced in the way of dividends from the investments we have made, or not made. They will have taken many forms, and it is only we, in the light of the judgement we are able to make at this stage, assessing whether what we remain with is precious or only so much dross. The pain or pleasure is ours to inherit. We hoped for pleasure, strove for gain, and must accept the pain of failed hopes as part of the bargain.

I will experience those in private.

But I can make the observation that there was a certain body of ethics that guided the trajectory of my passage. Looking back, I perceive that I did make an effort to ensure that the product of my strivings served a purpose that was positive in my eyes, aside from merely providing me with some recompense for my efforts. I believe that I may have served this master in my head to such an extent that I may have ignored the reality that those who were in my care shared in the sacrifices I was prepared to make to achieve those ends I believed were worthy.

Of course, those parties were never consulted as to whether their concomitant sacrifices were ones they were prepared to tender to my tasks. It may be that that reality is always present in the nature of the work that the principle wage-earner in a family undertakes, but it does weigh on my conscience. I undertook risks and acted within an ethical framework that had its costs. These costs would have been onerous for those not consulted if I had met with failure when they were totally dependent on my successful performance. The innocents were the unheralded partners in our enterprises, unknowingly investing their futures in our efforts.

I ask myself where that body of internal rules came from. I do not recall that I was ever subjected to a form of instruction as to what the rules of the road that would guide my actions should be. I can only surmise that I absorbed them from the behavior of my parents, and from the teachings inherent in the culture of my community. Wherever they came from, it was unconsciously clear to me that I could not pursue the ends I desired in ways that would seriously disadvantage others. Indeed, I had a responsibility, I knew, to ensure that my work would offer benefits to others as well as myself.

Whenever I found myself in a situation where this was no longer true, it seems that I moved on to other activities. I don’t believe I was always conscious of the reasoning, but I can see that behavior clearly looking back.

I certainly was conscious that I also had a responsibility to ensure that my work offered sufficient benefits in the way of dividends that I could care for those for whom I was responsible. And I was always aware of the need for adequate accumulation of assets so that I, and those for whom I was responsible, would not become a charge on the public purse. And we must all decide how much is enough.

I cannot claim that I was always commanded by virtue. All of us have those episodes wherein we do not live up to the dictates of our better angels. I probably have difficulty remembering those. Or maybe we remember them all too well, and feel the hidden guilt. Others who are more disinterested will have to make the final judgements on my account.

This is not yet the end of my story, but the end of my retelling for the moment. Whether there will be other chapters remains yet to be seen. I began with no conception of where it would end but with only the knowledge that it would inevitably end. This then is that end at this time. I am content. My hope is that others may have found some satisfaction in my telling of my tales.