Preparing For Take-off

 

I once watched a program broadcast from the UK that told of a new initiative, the bringing together of (six) individuals who were all facing the verdict of terminal illness. They were to come together four times over the period of a year, with the presence of counsellors, to explore the benefits of mutual support as their deteriorating individual circumstance brought them toward to what appeared to be their inevitable end. Their individual agonies were displayed for us on the screen as they worked through the pain of facing the unknown, leaving loved partners and young children, facing the disintegrating personal relationships with close friends, lovers, husbands. Or, for some, facing the starkness of being totally alone in these circumstances, with no human liaison.

What to do? Shall we drink wine and make merry while we can? Should we tick off items on our bucket list? Shall we spend our time exploring the infinite within ourselves in preparation for the world to come? Shall we urge our partners on their way to find a new partner we can vet to make sure our children will be well cared for after we are gone? Are we that selfless? Could we deal with the reality that our partners are eager to find new environments now more conducive to comfort? What of the pain and suffering to come-shall we passively await the inevitable or take action to eliminate that prospect?

Having reached the venerable age of four-score plus and counting, it has occurred to us that we are in a position not too far different from the individuals whose circumstances we had been viewing. We are more fortunate in that our sentence has not yet been pronounced. We are in a committed loving relationship. We could be reluctant to face the prospect of living on, one without the other, after having found each other after so many years of life in less pleasant circumstances.

We know our futures are indeterminate, like these people. Like them, we face the prospect of painful breakdowns in elements of our physical and mental apparatus. It surely goes with the territory. We are conscious of the fragility our paradise, our magical present. Can we act heroically in the face of an unknown future. What else do we expect of ourselves than that?

Shall we cast caution to the winds, live only for the moment? We knowingly treasure our moments together with a heightened sense of the winds of time rushing past our ears. We consciously seek to consume our intakes wisely and task our bodies in ways that might encourage a continued efficient functioning.

We think about it and try to draw closer to our loved ones and seek to treasure the relationships we have found most fulfilling over time. We may find we have less patience with obligations undertaken out of a sense of political correctness that may steal time from what we deem a more rewarding use of fleeting moments. We consider whether there are places we wish to see, wish to do, while we still have the energy and enthusiasm to appreciate them.

Above all we think about concentrating our time on those actions that are likely to yield the most laughter and joy. We will be stern masters of this portfolio of investments, minimizing political correctness when we can. Children and grandchildren, old friends and new friends, are valued very highly for the dividends they pay. Pleasure delivered to the eye and ear, a building, a street, a piece of music, the sight of a flower, a delicious meal we will taste sparingly, an article of clothing treasured for the memories it invokes, a photo of a bygone time, the remembrance of a person. Some things bring a tear.

Sometimes we thrill at the wonders of our world, resplendent around us, drink it all in, breathing deeply, swallowing what we can with, we admit, a degree of feverish intensity.

We are not too proud to spread our bets around on the roulette wheel of life. We contemplate the divine, the comfort of a soft landing in the arms of a caring, compassionate G-d. We argue for an inside track, negotiate for a dispensation, the washing away of our failings, calling on any of the good will in the bank for the sake of the Patriarchs and the Matriarchs. We will cite the devotion and sacrifices of our co-religionists. We will point to our deep well of good intentions and our small efforts to repair the world. We recognize that our acts are puny in the face of our transgressions, but we call forth the potentials of our children and grandchildren to help balance our accounts.

We are armed with optimism in the face of the unknown, the Unknowable. We may sometimes have a weakness of faith-perhaps yes, perhaps no-but we believe in Life. We believe in the conservation of energy, that the spark of life is eternal, that it may change its form but never ceases to be. As to our loves ones, we throw our arms around each other every day in a rapture of joy. We know that whatever may be our ultimate fates, in this we have been blessed beyond all measure, having the blessing of each other, having experienced the different kinds of true love before it was too late.

We stand ready to take flight, ready for the unknowable, heroes to the end?