I Am Younger Than That Now!*

No matter where you are in the cycle of your life, I wonder if you ever sit down to think about it. I say cycle, because I do believe that a cycle does exist for all of us that we don’t often think about in that way.

I don’t know how it was for you, but I remember my early years as entirely focused on wresting a promising future from prospects that did not appear too bright. Life involved a deadly serious struggle against odds that were not in my favor. Even more, I was convinced that we were not just present on earth for no reason, but we had a destiny to fulfill achievements that had huge import for humanity.

I was old beyond my years, deadly serious about pursuing the tasks before me, indeterminate though they were. My focus was on finding an important public purpose, and resolutely fulfilling my responsibilities in that roIe. I was probably not much fun to be with. Many decades later, I believe I am much younger than that now. In contrast with Bob Dylan, that phrase  is signaling that I have turned from being an establishment figure, to seeking an opposite kind of priority.

The young often think about fun and having a good time, don’t they? They worry about the short term pleasure rather than long term cost. I think a lot about that. It may be that I am at that stage because I have spent so much time thinking and doing the responsible things. It may be I am thinking about such things because I can hear the winds of time whistling about my ears.

Whatever the reason, I feel much younger than I was back then because I want to concentrate on having fun and exploring what things I might do that offer “a good time”. I am prepared to be more short term rather than long term. The long term is going to be somebody else’s problem.

I am now concentrating on seeking feel-good moments. I want to see smiles and hear laughter. I am prepared to play the fool to make it happen. I am prepared to be nice rather than insisting on my rights. Most things we fight over don’t matter a darn.

 I am prepared to swallow my pride to keep a friend. I will listen to inanities as long as I have to and not say a word ‘til I can escape. I will go the extra mile to accommodate a friend. I even accept insults without responding in kind, and that’s a departure for me. I focus on the important things and seek out happy companions.

What are the important things? For me, they are living in the moment. I hope I can resist getting testy when I am crossed. I have to try to remember what things will make those around me happier, and show kid-like pleasure when people do things for me. I try to seek out opportunities that offer a chance of shared enjoyment rather than focusing only on the solitudes I prefer. I have to show interest in the lives of those people I meet, do nice things for the people I love. And that has to be true even when they don’t have time or patience for me. It can be a tall order. Even though I am younger in priorities I must remember the lessons of experience.

Does that mean that I sometimes have to dissemble in ways younger people are not too good at? Maybe so. But it does not change my emphasis on making the minutes we are spending now as pleasant as they possibly can be for ourselves and for those we care for. In my earlier life when I was much older it was my mission that had the priority, and not the environment I was creating for the important people around me.

What’s happening at your house?

*The song, “My Back Pages”, that contains the above title as a refrain, was included in Dylan’s fourth studio album entitled Another Side Of Bob Dylan, published by in 1964. It was taken up by many popular performing groups before being publicly sung by Dylan in 1967. In this song, Dylan expressed his disillusionment with the whole anti-establishment protest movement of which he was such an important part, and signaled that he was taking a new direction.